Our roster of Super Guys™:

Ray Guy:
Ray’s the general editor and (not such a) mastermind of the site. Ray has written for ESPN Magazine, The L.A. Times, Los Angeles Magazine and Playboy. His turn-offs include: Stupidity, extreme stupidity, and blondes with noticeable rashes. Turn-ons include: moonlit walks on the beach, punting, and Oprah.

Randy Guy:
Randy edits the sex and girls’ sections. (He’s always) Randy has written for esteemed publications like Hustler, and a few other girly magazines you’ve never heard of. Randy would like to dedicate his performance on the site to his favorite couch Evelyn. Be home soon, honey! Oh, right, Randy invites any hotties who want to model for the site to send photos to randyATtheguyreport.com. Please don’t mention anything about the hotdog on his brain. He prefers not to discuss.

Jacques Guy:
What can we say? Jacques (pronounced: Jock) is the cat that gets it done. Every single word of sports you read on the site is not his, but he’s been doing a great job uploading the stories. Keep it up, Jac! Jacquita has secret ambitions of going trannie and being the Sports Guy (Now Turned Girl) of the Trannie World ™. Bill Simmons watch your hormone intake.

Kip Guy:
Little Kippy is the dude who we go to when we can’t categorize something. It’s awesome to see him work. He puts his head down, thinks about it for a couple of long moments, and, every time, emerges with (what we like to think of as) pure brilliance, raising his cane and shouting: “Stuff! Let’s put it under Stuff!” Well done, Kipparoo, have another banana, little guy.

If you would like to contact our editors for any reason, use their first name @ theguyreport.com. Can’t promise you’ll ever hear sh*t back from them. But they do still love you long time.