Who is she?

She's Penelope Cruz, dumbass, I thought we already established that.

Job description

Looking hot. Oh, sure, she also does a little something called "acting." But mainly her acting is just standing around and looking hot.

Why we like her

Perfect mix of "looking hot" to go along with vulnerability. No cold Catherine-Zeta Jones here.

What's she doing now?

Dude, she's kissing (worst actress) Scarlett Johannson in the new Woody Allen film.

Well, that's one reason to see it. Actually, with the way Allen's been making films lately, that's the only reason to see it. And after one look at the trailer, we can only say: use your imagination. Here's some technical support:



"You feel deeply for me, I know."



"This is some tough acting."



"Back rub anyone?"



"I'm ready for my close-up now, Mr. Allen."

Allen: Can we get a fluffer on the set? Immediately!