Earlier in this very blog, we started out with the assumption that USA Hoops would carry the day and win Gold easily. Then, after watching them semi-flail in their last two exhibition games, we kind of got cold feet.

Hey, we're not ESPN reporters, we can actually admit we're human and we make mistakes.

And, after witnessing Team USA so easily dispatch Spain (slanty-eyed, cheapshot pussies!), all we can say is: We're not worthy! We made a huge mistake: you guys totally rule!

Why the change of heart?

1. Team USA has basically raised their intensity to a deafening level for their opponents. In fact, opponents probably feel like Gitmo prisoners did when they were tortured with 24/7 Yoko Ono music: ready to wave the white flag and admit anything their captors wanted them to.

For Team USA captives, and soon-to-be captives, that admission is: "Wow, you guys are really pounding our asses, please don't take any more embarrassing pictures and post them on the Internet."

2. Coach K was obviously listening to us when we suggested moving Jason Kidd to the bench, and a towel-waving position, and letting Chris Paul run the point. We also asked that the Big Three (Kobe, Melo, LBJ) step aside and let Dwyane Wade be the engine that gets the team revving. That's actually happened, with one exception:

3. LeBron James. LBJ has seized on the opportunity to prove his brilliance, and gain even bigger worldwide ad revenue, rising up to carry his teammates on his -- quite thick -- shoulders. Kobe who?

Argentina is the only test lurking out there. And, we're not about to go all flippity-flopping again, so, we'll just say: USA wins Gold.

By 37. Naw, let's stick with 23. Put your call into Vegas now.

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What happens when the Olympics are over and our addiction to badminton, seal penis and Teddy Atlas cannot be filled???

Is there a rehab center ready to handle this? Oh right, it's called the Worldwide Blogosphere. Blah, blah, blah, blog.