Sex talk. How do you do it properly and not get carried away so she thinks you're either a psychotic tard, or an awful comedian? (Trust me, no two drink minimum is going to help you in this case.)

I once had a neighbor (he was married), who used his apartment as a stash pad to bone down on several partners. Yet, no matter who his Bone of the Week was, his vocal schtick was always the same. Yes, the walls were thin and, yes, it sounded like a really bad porn flick: "Oh, yeah, baby! oh yeah, baby!! oh yeah, baby!!! I'm coming, baby!!!! I'm coming...Daddy's coming home!!!!!"

"Oh yeah, Daddy!!!!!!"

Yawn. Honestly, it was hilarious: he was that comedian that was so bad it made you laugh. And it was absolutely the wrong way to go about sex talk.

The right way?

Start slowly, think seductively.

A little soft breathing into her ear, then a few easy statements: "You taste so good." "Mmm, your p*ssy is so warm." "Yum, can I put a gerbil in it?"

Kidding on the last one. But, just remember: subtlety. You don't need to scream out like a porn king to enhance the sexual experience for your girl. You only have to touch a chord. And that chord can be pricked with the simplest of words.

The trick is to figure out what chord needs to be played, because each woman has a different trigger point. Your job is to probe around a little until you find it. Once it's in your ballpark, don't swing for the fences right away. Because sex talk is all about the Power of Suggestion. Let the final orgasm be the home run, not the "Oh, baby! Oh, baby! Oh, baby's!!!!!"

Make sense?

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